On a spur of the moment, I had my waist length hair cut. The stylist gushed saying I was so beautiful, my eyes so green. What was he supposed to say, “You’re a dog; get out of my chair”? Snip, snip ten inches off and more than year’s worth of growth gone in seconds. When done he exuberantly squealed, “You’re so gorgeous, like the cool mom everyone would love to have!”. Bomb. Excuse me, mom? Did he just say “mom’ as in mother, matriarch or matron? Could I be a,….a,…MILF? I don’t even have kids! I was stunned. I have no problem getting older, or at least I don’t think I do, but this was the first time anyone threw my demographic in my face.
As much as we hate to admit it, there always seems to be a disconnect between who we think we are and how others really perceive us. You may recall the 40-year-old executive I wrote about earlier, who had affairs with women barely over the legal drinking age. He may have believed it made him look and feel younger, but I’m sure none of his young gazelles would ever consider him a contemporary. No doubt we’ve all met the “undiscovered star” who believes she deserves a million dollar recording deal, but will more likely have people pay to not hear her sing. There are, however, more subtle forms of delusion, like the dad that gets a Mohawk thinking it will make him cool in his kid’s eyes, or using colored contacts and thinking they look natural.
Which leads to the question of the week for couples: Would you tell your partner that people don’t agree with their self-perception? Would you like your partner to tell you “Sorry, but you’re not all that”? If so, how would you take the news?
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